if i get an abortion, then will you go out with me?
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
Less talking, more tequila
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
I'm gonna go ahead and say I love our drinking habits but anytime we roundhouse a 750 of Schnapps on the way to a non competitive bowling league we might have problems
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
