can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
I'm happy I peed in your laundry basket last night
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I'm still mad from all the stupid shit he's done this week that even though I couldn't give two shits about Vday, I'm gonna throw an epic tantrum if he doesn't morph in to Nickolas Sparks for a day
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
Randomize
