Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
We should be called the Road Head Warriors
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Come part with me. By you sleep! No fun. Idek feelings Sorry for your life.
Want to do me the honour of waxing my legs again before I go to Mexico? I feel like it's a tradition we shouldn't break.
I should come with a warning like "do not feed me tequila or cocaine, I will ruin the party and cry"
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
You do realize last night you asked me if shampoo had an expiration date then cried for 15 mins when I told you it did
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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