2 nights ago she wants to see other people, tonight she wants to have a threesome. The GOOD kind of threesome. So... win?
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
This guy behind me is answering all of her questions. I may give him a lapdance to take my next test for me
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
omg this is getting ridiculous. nobody's vagina should ever be this neglected.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I'm eating hummus off of my stomach right now.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
Randomize
