We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
You insisted on squirting shots of captain morgan in your mouth with a turkey baster by like 930.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
Plus he stuck it in when you were sleeping which would have been the tipping point for me but you art school kids are all liberal and shit
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
My Sexting was not on an AP level
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
Randomize
