My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
Randomize
