"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
I left him a voicemail saying i went through with the abortion and he texts me back one thing... the bbm "phew" face. really?
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I lost a bet last night, now I have to name the baby Fetty Wap, regardless of gender. Riley is going to kill me.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
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