So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
I think that last shot was nyquil. Please come gte me. WINGS.
The only way to make beer can wizard staffs any better is to sew your own wizards robe and hat to go along with it. welcome to tuesday nights at my new apartment
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
I just realized that I have to choose between a future orthopedic surgeon and a dude currently in jail. My life is so fucked.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
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