you were trying to give my penis an indian burn.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
take 2 Ambien then drink a Red Bull and watch Alice in Wonderland. Trust me.
and i'm going to kill you for what you did to my nipples last night. of course i want to hang out
He's writing a strongly worded email to Trojan right now
I TOLD YOU THE BARESKIN CONDOMS WEREN'T AS RELIABLE.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
I slept naked last night on stolen pillows. I felt like a golden goddess.
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
Randomize
