I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
You seriously don't know?He was trying to arrest you and you were shouting that you were being punk'd. Punk'd? that show got cancelled like 5 years ago.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
"drunk introduce yourself to everyone colleen" came out last night... you kept grabbing guys faces that you just met and just kept saying their names over and over and over again so you wouldn't forget.. then would see them 5 minutes later to introduce yourself again..
I feel strange, like something is off with my body
Yeah that's called sobering up, we've been drunk for the past 4 days
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I wrote notes to myself all over my body. "don't yell at cops again" "Cody stole your phone" "you kissed Cody" "vodka shots are bad for your liver" and "cactus pretty" WTF????
He pulled out the guitar, sat in tub, and took requests while she puked her brains out in the toilet. I think he loves her.
Randomize
