She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
i saved all my weight watcher points for this alcohol
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
I'm not having the "why are your fucking my daughter" talk and the "your a drug addict" talk with your mom tonight.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
I wrote myself a note last night telling me to tell you that you're the best person ever, and asking you not to tell me what I did, I think I'm trusting my drunk judgment on that one.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
