I just woke up with a girl who has left and right tattoed on her wrists. In french. I may need to stop drinking.
im holly from the hills drunk
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
After we were finished she said "That was like marriage sex". Should I take that as a compliment or insult?
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
You kept flirting with some guy while I was throwing up on the sidewalk, and I screamed YOU DON'T LIKE MEN
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
She’s super into those renaissance faires. But, if you can’t actually stab anyone, what’s the point?
Randomize
