There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
You never go ass to mouth. That's quite possibly the most important rule Paramedic school has taught me.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
My mom purposely got me drunk so I can stay at her house bc "we don't spend enough time together." I blacked out anyway, so we didn't spend time together regardless.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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