Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Trusting in Jesus is not a viable birth control plan.
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
