that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
i have the juiciest gold medal in my pants
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
So this is completely apropos of nothing, but I have a feeling that a friend of mine might be a good match for you. Can I set you two up on a date? Oh, and it seems that we live a block away from each other and aren't having sexy times. This is ridiculous. By the way, there's a chance that I might be a tad drunk. Still though, there's a very *good* chance that you and Mr. X would get along.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
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