Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
