winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
She forced me to throw up so it would "rejuvenate" me. It worked and then we took six more shots and did a keg stand. You know what I call that? Friendship.
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
I just found pie in my hoodie pocket... This break needs to end.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
I just showed this kid my nipples to work my shift tmw
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
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