I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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