matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
i cant talk right now. we are trying to finish our homework so we can play with play-doh
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
I thought I was heading girls talk. It was the toilet. Like put my ear to it
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
I'm in my onesie attempting to spoon-feed myself cold soup. I'm playing freeze tag with my hangover. My hangover's winning.
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
I'm on my third roll of toilet paper. Today can fuck right off.
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
Randomize
