Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
Why the fuck is he under my phone as Papi Chulo?
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I took a yellow and pink pill, all of a sudden my sex drive is back, and for some reason all I wanna do is fuck Amish dudes
Good God, I miss doing unknown drugs with you.
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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