Changed it back. Somehow I didn't think my profile pic should be me shirtless on ecstasy, ya know?
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
He made me cum 4 times, we high fived afterwards and then I proceeded to tell him about this guy I'm dating whilst I made him a bacon sandwich. I think we've finally mastered being friends with benefits.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Hi this is the guy from the cell phone store. Your Dad just upgraded your phone as a surprise. I didn't tell him about your topless pics on your phone. I transfered them to new phone. Nice rack!
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
You helped blow my nose... Ok it's safe to say we are on a new level of relationship..
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
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