Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
See? I told you no boy in roller skates could be entirely straight.
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
I just formed the "shit on a tree in Chicago club." And I feel awful about it.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
I shall relish in being the most basic of bitches
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
I had perfectly good intentions but my penis had other ideas and now I need a place to crash what do you say
Randomize
