Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
her nickname was handjob. I knew what i was getting into.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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