Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
Go to a building you've never been before and take a shit. It's marvelous
I found you laying in a field of grass near the trail I jog on in the morning like a drunken Bambi.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
