therell be strippers and coke right?
no strippers. just coke.
i hate this fuckin recession
His idea of a romantic evening was shotgunning Keystones. What a keeper.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Is a box of franzia too insincere of a gift for "i'm sorry I backed into your toddler with my car"?
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
And don't worry, I have a great track record of rallying after a casual midday blackout.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
