Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
I clipped one of my extensions in his hair to give him a rat tail. What is my life?
Something about being drunk at 1pm chasing seagulls on the beach while it's raining is very calming
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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