In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
So my retainer doesn't fit, so i'm getting drunk so i can put it back in. Alone.
You would...
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Yeah if I don't text back. I'm eating. sleeping. Or lifting. Or drinking. Or playing call of duty. Like shit man
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
