I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
I plan to get very, very drunk when I get off work.
But doesn't your shift end at like noon?
I don't think you understand.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
So was it everything you dreamed it would be
I puked.
Twice.
So is that a yes?
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
spent the night holding naked strippers up for keg stands and doing endless amounts of body shots. good game 8am final exam.
whats an extra semester when you've already been in college for 6 years?
Randomize
