broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
she kept yelling about wanting tacos, so I gave her a piece of bologna in a tortilla. she didn't know the difference
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
My mouth tastes like what I imagine a hobo's skin would taste like.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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