i need an iv and a liver transplant
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
just fell over trying to sit on the toliet like a robot.
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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