her nose should be used as a dorsal fin
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
I got shot at today. If that doesn't get me at least a blow job I give up working on the south side
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
He was making a joke about signing my name on this piece of paper. He has a whole bucket filled with names on pieces of paper. I think thats how he keeps count.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
