he saw my "i like bacon" magnet on the fridge and i told him how much i love meat, then we started making out
what a beautiful fairy tale
Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
You poured 151 in your eye, ran face first into a tree, fell down, then threw a lawn chair at the dog...all before passing out in the hallway and pissing yourself. There is no way to redeem yourself.
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
Randomize
