Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Also I've been at work for an hour and I've already been "honey"d "babe"d and "beautiful"d by three separate men. Apparently hungover with yesterdays make up looks good on me.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
I am never drinking with the goths again.
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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