I'm lost and stupid without you.
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Disgusting. If I saw her naked my dick would pack up his balls and leave.
morning after pill = breakfast in bed
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
when I type Christina's, my phone's predictive text assumes my next word is boobage
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
Day one of being single and I've came three times. I can get used to this.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
Anytime you wish.we are doing double shots in the kitchen,and I drank a beer in the shower,so...the sooner you get here,the sooner you can get on our level.
Randomize
