i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
I wish i could tell a story about guys I know without the phrase "and then I blew him." coming up.
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
Randomize