one might say we're banned from that church
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
John tries to set me up, and she has 1 arm. I'm a nice guy, but 2 arms is kinda a requirement
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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