You know, if there were no such thing as marriage, i don't think porn would exist.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
I no longer see him as a simple set of male genitalia attached to a very sexy body. The title "trophy fuck" seems wrong. Damn.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
Everyone heard you having sex but I just told them you were having a nightmare.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
