accomplished twins. life is a go
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I don't care. He smelled like a fucking chilli cookoff
i just realized that the oil change sticker on my windshield is a day before the last time i had sex. I've driven exactly 10500 miles since.
you need to get laid.. and an oil change.
Seriously man, I'm worried that my dick's going to fall off someday if I keep this up...
what kind of wine goes with anal sex and shame?
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
Boss out of town. Had 2 beers for lunch, a long walk and a bowl...and then in he comes. Blamed obvious intoxication on my pain meds. Back at the bar. This is one of those bad judgement days.
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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