I met the friendliest cop last night
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Well we get the HIV results on my birthday haha. It'll be like happy birthday kid, you have AIDS.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
