so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
are you so shy because you have an std?
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
The ratio of last drink to last smoke is so tricky. This could go on until the booze is gone
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
