I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
where are you?
sonic
Good. I hungoveredly cleaned your room. This is what being married is going to be like. I pick the condoms up off the floor and you bring home the hot dogs.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
Doing Jager Bombs on a Sunday morning is justified...How else is my team going to win?
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Randomize
