11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
