I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
you were on all fours yelling at the earth to stop spinning.
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
I'd like to request an "its my birthday discount", and for you to bartend shirtless tonight ;)
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
i think the sex is so good because i get a contact high just from fucking him
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
I smell like heartbreak.
Tequila and sloppy rebound sex?
How did you know?
As long as it's more "this is where i see an issue" vs "psst.... tiddies" then i have no argument
Randomize