my weekend in 10 words or less: hot friend of a friend, open bar, beach house, sore. In that order too.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Drunkenly auctioned off my bed for 3 tequila shots
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
She’s a Vegas 8, which makes her an Oklahoma 27
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