hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
She was giving me great head...... until I asked her how much this was going to cost.... she left abruptly
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
You would think that someone would have been sober enough to object to vodka bong races.
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
he doesn't drink and he's an emt - he'll be our dd for nye in exchange for a threesome tomorrow afternoon.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
You told her to step on the scale because you had whiskey goggles, and scales don't lie.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
We will go to karaoke
Okay, well, i'm covered in paint, haven't showered & have already been drinking, so if I fall on the floor in a blaze of depeche mode & beer tears, you can't pretend you don't know me
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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