Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Yeah I just gotta do it so that my major doesn't find out. Doesn't look good having a stripper teach your 3rd grader
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Not really how I planned to achieve immortality, but I'll take it.
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
holy f. i broke my toe giving him head. how does that even happen!?
Randomize
