i just used a urinal to avoid climbing stairs, i need to quit drinking.
I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
we decided it was best to cut you off after we caught you trying to "baptize" my cat in the jungle juice
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
I was trying to remember why my knees hurt then I remembered I was twerking on the countertops.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
im going to smoke a cigarette and reflect on my life choices
Randomize
