There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i'm saving my butt for my wedding night
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
He told the cop he was underage, handed the cop his ID, and the police report read "I then informed the suspect that he was not, in fact, underage"
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
You paid a stripper $40 to choke me out last night.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
We had sex on his sofa while his friend cheered and threw bugles at us
Randomize
