Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
no homo or anything but the way you were dancing with that girl gave me a boner
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
Something about the fact that I could do coke off her ass cheeks just speaks to me
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Randomize
