We need to find a way to make penises more like hookahs.
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
All i learned in high school was how to sell drugs
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
my poor anus
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I hope you get stoned and think that you're a seal in shark infested waters
May the power of my ass compel you!!
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
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