It's Friday. Sex?
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
I can’t believe you’re letting her use the Mercedes
It seemed like a better idea while she was giving me a hand job. It’s a good thing we weren’t having sex. Who knows what I would agree to during sex
Randomize
