she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
How are you feeling today?
i could've thrown up on command at any point today...
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
When i was leaving for work this morning, i realized the neighbor was passed out drunk, with no pants, and a half eaten whopper on my lawn. Knowing that hey..we have all been there before.. i decided to give him a pillow and a blanket rather than wake him up.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
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