I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Edward fifth and chaser hands
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
It's official. This guy and I are going gay for each other. We're tasting the fucking rainbow.
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
