I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
We went to IKEA super baked wearing fake mustaches. You?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
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