It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
she had a my little ponys comforter. i left when she went to the bathroom
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
And all I ask is the occasional "welcome home from work" blowjob.....and for you to fold my laundry. I hate folding laundry
He wouldn't let me put a red handprint on his face or scream to him everytime he walked away.
Why did you want to do any of that?
If someones last name is Wilson, you are obligated to pretend that you are Tom Hanks and they are a Volleyball and quote the movie when you speak to them.
When you glanced over and and mouthed "I'll take the fat chick" I knew it was going to be an epic Sunday night.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
My Mormon mother just found a butt-plug in our AirBnB closet.
Randomize
