Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
He has a clip art-style heart tattooed on his hip. I hated him way before I saw his tiny dick.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
hi I'm Emily and I thoroughly enjoy getting minors hammered.. I'll start my AA intro just like that.
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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