I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
So after i got done, she went over and got out her gecko, I felt like I was in an X rated geiko commercial.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
Is today national text-a-girl-whose-had-your-dick-in-her-mouth day and I just wasn't aware?? I am getting the most random "just saying hey" texts ever and that's the only common denominator.
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
Randomize
