she said it was okay because they were "professional" nude pictures of her on the internet
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Just found out I slapped a vegan in the face with meat last night.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Made a vodka juice box out of a ziploc bag and a straw for when I drive. Doesn't count as an open beverage container anymore.
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
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