I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
I'm making tacos. Give me one good reason why we shouldn't be high while eating those tacos.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
You and the dog were competed for the water dish
We were so drunk that when I broke the bottom off a pint glass we decided to make it into a candle holder. How does that happen?!
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
The 666th photo in my phone is of him and if that's not a sign that he's secretly the Antichrist, idk what is. Also, bring more rum.
Randomize