i'm eating jello out of a teacup with a fork. awesome?
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I was too high to figure out which of the three doors would lead me to my classroom, so i sat down in the middle of the hallway and ate a twinkie.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
P.S. It's common courtesy to let the girl your banging know if she's about to walk into the same place your girlfriend is at so she can get her poker face ready
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
at least its a cool name to shout when he's balls deep in you later
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
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