did you get engaged???
just survived the first fart of the relationship.
what day is it and did you see me today?
I want you more than these girls want KFC
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
his dick got so hard in his pants and it broke his zipper
should my penis look like a turkey
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
I FEEL like I celebrated someone's 21st, but really I just celebrated Tuesday.
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
are you watching the world series?
I've made out with alex bregman... so yes
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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