Ok walking to car, 3 gay guys park get out of car, one on phone says 'I dont know but I was definately getting some curb rubbing'
I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
you have a cum towel under your bed, you're the definition of single
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
thank you for extending my knowledge of the effects of vodka. speak of what happened last night and i will kill you and send your fingers to your loved ones.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
Randomize