Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Is it bad that I'm tracking my period with Instagram pictures?
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
A guy just grabbed my balls before he shook my hand because he thought he knew me.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Dead. I am actually dead. Also, worst nightmare confirmed: throwing up in a four hundred person lecture.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
Randomize
