anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
My tally is now official: I have been drunk every weekend since 2008. Cheers.
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
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