I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He's at the gym. He likes to get high and swim cause it makes him feel like a fish.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
You're asking your pregnant booty call to go to a funeral with you?
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Randomize