Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
I feel like I'm taking part in a surprise porno. At least my hair looked good.
by 11 am we'd already been drunk twice. how much lower can you go?
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I just want a man to crawl into my bed with me and never crawl out. Anti socialism at his best.
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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