I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I can't believe believe she called me a slut. She doesn't know anything about me or my life.
Shit, that's something a lot of sluts say.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I looked at her and said "I now pronounce you pumpkin tits"
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
What does puking wasabi feel like?
Like snorting cocaine backwards.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Not genetic. He's drunk and texted me a dick pic. Not genetic. Thank God!
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
Wanna guess where my charger was last night.....in my cooler with my beer. I put it in there because I knew I would never forget my beer.
Randomize
