I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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