Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
during charades she pointed to herself and you guessed 'girl who wants to fuck me'
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
yeah, I'm getting gagged by the cock of fate
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Randomize
