Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
Aj just asked if we were going to the bulldog tonight..i told her no because of the expense and tests coming up..but mostly because i don't want herpes
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
sorry i was making out with matt didn't mean for it to sound like that. there was no tone
there should be a new saying, don't text and tongue
lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
We make out exclusively when we're drunk. That's like a relationship for me, right?
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Double high-fived his wife and her sister on the way out. If I'm not the best mistress ever tell me how.
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