jersey shore has given me a vivid depiction of what things will be like for me once i get to hell
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i just got a clause named after me in the 'alcohol and drug use' section of the handbook. this is certainly a warning sign.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
soon, soon....
I don't believe you anymore. You're like the boy who cried coitus.....
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Real life skills section of my resume: blow jobs, food knowledge trivia, sarcasm, mascaera application, sexting, tolerance of rail liquors
I finally realized he drank way too much when he tried serenading me to the song "come my lady" while slowly and creepily making his way toward me...keeping constant eye contact.
Randomize
