Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
I was giving him a handjob and he commented that he loved my nailpolish....I'm destined to die a fag hag
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
In the morning he said my plan to make 2 casseroles today was, "hot in a grandma sort of way," & I didn't think it was weird. THAT'S how hot he was.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
Will you remind me I changed my hotspot phone password to fuckyouprivilegedwhitedude
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
So, I think think I left my underwear at your house. Well...not exactly your house but your roof.
Randomize
