just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
I got to find out the airplane alcohol limit, and somehow I made it through the flight.
omg. i wish i could describe to you the number of things that were just in my vagina. i feel like i got gangbanged by construction workers.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
You showed up to your dad's bday dinner late, dirty, and hungover then proceeded to yell at the bartender for trying to take advantage of you by putting extra bourbon in your drink... Highly doubt you win best daughter award.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
