Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
What's your ideal size in a man?
I just asked if you could cover my shift tomorrow......
And anyway at least being paid in opium makes a cool story
I just came so hard my vision went blurry. I can only hope one day I'll find a man that can accomplish what my left hand does on a tri-daily basis.
You should frame my arrest warrant.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
Randomize
