It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
I mean can we take a second to high five on our sex life? I love us.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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