she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
we'll hang out once this whole, "your friends are robbers and drug addicts" thing blows over with my parents.
Sorry about all the noise last night. We were trying to break bottles by kicking soccer balls at them. If it's any consolation, there's shattered glass and blood all over my kitchen.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
"I licked someones beard, because I can."
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize